Suitedreams: Aikawa

[battling]

You're a lizard forever

Comments

WK0 - MONDAY.

[decaptych]

[ OUR FIRST THREAD IS 124 COMMENTS??? WHO ARE WE. Anyway it's Monday my fellows and Aikawa is out here, trying to find a normal goddamn door somewhere. Where did this guy even sleep the night? It's a mystery. ]

C'mon, normal one!

[ And opening one of the doors, straight into number 11...

Hell. ]

This is not a normal one.

[battling]

Have any of these been normal?

[ He will peer in. ]

[decaptych]

Obviously not.

[ Unfortunately they will be compelled to walk in, and Aikawa starts sweating a lil. ]

Oh -- okay, no, I really don't like this. Bradley? A little help?

[battling]

[ Oh no. Bradley is immediately miserable in this heat.

He also doesn't know where this is so. ]

Help how?

[decaptych]

I dunno, I thought you weren't gonna also walk right in!

[ Nooo why are you HERE. And sees the door close. ]

...How do we get out of here?!

[battling]

I didn't wanna.

[ Bro compulsion sucks. He's taking off his jacket and unbuttoning his blazer. ]

Dunno. Where are we anyway?

[decaptych]

Uhh... well, based on stuff, looks like Hell. Suuuper textbook. I thought it'd look a little different.

[ Yikes. ]

[battling]

Can't it at least be cold?

[ WHINE

His jacket and blazer come off, put over his arm. ]

[decaptych]

Hey, I don't make the rules in this place! C'mon, let's get outta here...

[ Waddle down this... crazy spiralling hellish path, maybe. ]

This is crazy for a 'room'.

[battling]

Why'd ya go for this door?

[He's a northerner with no magic, he could expire right here from heat exhaustion.]

[decaptych]

I just opened a random one! They all look the same!

Get up! Don't die here, stupid!

[battling]

Fuck off, I ain't gonna die!

[This would be an effective way to do it though.]

[decaptych]

Stop looking like you want to any second now, then!

[ Hustle!! Though that being said, there is truly no sign of a door. ]

[battling]

It's so hot it's miserable!

[decaptych]

And the more effort you put into hightailing it outta here, the faster you can get out?

[ Offers helpfully. ]

[battling]

D'ya even see a door?

[decaptych]

No...

Do you?

[battling]

No.

[decaptych]

What if we get... to higher ground?

Maybe it'll be cooler...

[battling]

If it's hell ain't it gonna suck no matter where we're at?

[decaptych]

Maybe... some parts of hell suck... less? I dunno! I'm trying to be optimistic here!

[ And then cresting a hill, they get a very typical scene of hellish penitence, of devils whipping a sinner. ]

Nope, optimism... rapidly fading.

[battling]

Hell sucks all the way around.

[It's! Too! Hot!]

[decaptych]

[ BRADLEY STOP DYING ]

Well yeah! It's where people go to when they die, nobody wants that.

C'mon big guy, let's get away from all this freaky kinky shit.

[battling]

[He lives where it BLIZZARDS!

He makes suuuuch a face.]

Don't call it kinky.

[decaptych]

It's how I'm coping, I don't wanna be like, hey, let's walk away casually from the extremely disturbing whipping punishment. Oh look, now we're both thinking about it, and we're miserable. End scene.